A quiet voice of affirmation

The vocation journey, it seems, has many phases. At the moment it feels like a very private phase is beginning to end as my vocational journey is gradually shared with more people. So far conversations have been limited to just a few key people but over the last few months I have shared my thoughts with a few more people and as ever, have been surprised by the lack of voices telling me to stop and go away!

The last week has been part of that phase shift. A meeting with the Vicar last week, after some difficult questions, ended with "you have my full support and prayers." Which given the difficulty of the questions, was a surprise, although may be it shouldn't be. One of the questions was about whether this calling has been seen in me by anyone else. I usually answer no as no one has ever approached me saying, 'you should get ordained.' But at the same time, being called to the local ministry team was a call. Being asked to organise mission and outreach groups was a call, but perhaps not as independant as one might hope for. Some of this, I think, comes from our sense of Englishness, discretion and not interfering. At the weekend, partly at the Vicar's suggestion, I sought out a friend who has been on a similar journey to mine. As I started to explain why I had asked to meet, my friend just nodded and (to paraphrase slightly) said, "oh yes, I'd been thinking that you should be looking at vocation, that all makes sense, I should have said something sooner but didn't have a chance."

(As a side note, if you know someone who sounds a bit like me, when you feel the time is right, please let them know if you think they should be considering a christian vocation. It may seem obvious, so we don't say anything, or we may be too polite and not want to interfere. Please pray about the person though, if you feel God is telling you to speak to them, please do. It may be just the call they were looking for.)

After a couple of years of examing my personal sense of calling, to have this affirmed, even only slightly, is a relief. I would have pursued this anyway, as I feel the calling is from God, but it is to serve God's people and without their support I would only be a hermit in a cave. The next step is my first meeting with the DDO this week. Not at all sure what to expect so this is with a little trepidation on my part. As ever prayer is the key.

Comments

  1. jante19 January 2012 at 09:10

    Prayers for you as you move forward on the path of discernment- I can remember the ups and downs over many years.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lessons in humility

Christians are called to be humble, it’s part of what bring us closer to being Christ like or ‘in Christ’. In our modern world though this can be very difficult. We are encouraged by society to be bold, seize the day and be confident. The focus on ‘self,’ being proud and materialistic are what society expects of us. We can aspire towards humility and many Christians do through prayer, bible study, Christian fellowship and worship. I had started to read into recent events some signs that I needed more humility (I’m sure that much is true). I had agreed to lead a lent group and even though I denied it to myself, felt some pride at being asked (also some guilt for feeling pride). Then the group was cancelled due to a lack of takers, which was humbling. Another group I tried to join as a member was also cancelled due to low numbers, so I didn’t join a Lent group this year for the first time in several years which was disappointing (to me at least). I have also recently injured my knee wh
Read more

Yesterday, I turned a corner...

Image
The last few months have seen some of the biggest roller coaster lurches in all of my vocational journey, and I haven't said anything here, because I haven't really known what to to say, even though I wanted to share, especially as people have prayed for me in the past, which has always meant a huge amount to me. So what has happened? Back in October, I met two Diocesan Assessors, one lay and one ordained. It then took about a month to receive feedback (for entirely understandable reasons), which effectively said that while I had a clear vocation to ordained ministry, it was felt that I lacked the necessary leadership skills and especially confidence, which I would need to do well at a panel. Now, it's honesty time, my confidence had taken quite a battering over the previous six months, the drawn out vocation process and continued levels of required introspection had started to take their toll, combined with a work situation which had meant my confidence in my role and
Read more

The one where I own up to introspection...

Part of the reason I don't blog very often is that it can sometimes seem rather introspective (such is the nature of exploring vocation), some details can be personal and private, then if I'm being careful not to mention too many names and places, there can then be little left to say. However, things do move on. This vocation journey is more like a container ship than a speed boat, or perhaps a long distance backpacker than a 5k runner. It's a steady, onwards exploration. I'm seeing, experiencing and learning a lot on the way and no matter what happens, my faith, will be much deeper than I would have imagined a few years ago. This journey also needs much prayer and so the odd update may be helpful to people who have said they'll pray for me. So here we go... It's taken some time to realise God's timing isn't the same as mine. As I have explored vocation to ministry, tested some avenues, tried a few cul-de-sacs then found a path which seems more lev
Read more