Distant Mountain

In a discussion last year at a house group we started talking about when we had given ourselves to Christ. Many could cite specific times in their lives when they had committed to following Jesus. I kept quiet as the discussion moved on but I knew I had side-stepped a public answer, but not perhaps for the reasons you may be guessing... In my heart, I knew I had given myself to God, to follow Christ, but I couldn't give a time or place when I knew this had happened, hence my silence. No sudden born again, bright lights moment, just the sure, safe knowledge that I am his. Those who know me may think it slightly odd that I couldn't give a " when" , especially as for a long time, I hadn't been to church at all until six years ago so you could say well surely in the last six years, wasn't there a moment or an event which made it all clear. I don't think there was though, it was a gradual realisation, a slow re-birth as I realised I has always been his

On the advice of another blogger I took the chance to listen to Sunday Worship on Radio 4 from Ripon College, Cuddeson. The iplayer recording has now expired, but a transcript is available  here . There was some wonderful music and I always find it helpful to hear how other people have found vocation and how every story is different. The talk by the principal is worth referring back to again and again; " But if it is true that every Christian has a vocation, what are the next steps? How would you know you were called? How could you be sure? You can’t of course, but there are a few simple things to bear in mind - things we often remind students of here at Cuddesdon. First, have courage. Many vocations never take root because of fear. Fear of failure, or of perhaps just of getting it wrong – suppose someone rumbles that I am just ordinary? Suppose I really make a mess of it? But mistakes happen, and I think the best thing we can try to do is learn from these things. Failure is

In our house group we have been looking at Paul's letter to the Ephesians, as we spent time on the first part of chapter 2, this section really struck a deep chord; "....made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved - 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness towards us in Christ Jesus." So if we are 'in Christ Jesus' (a phrase used often in this passage) when we are saved, we will know immeasurable riches of grace. To be in Christ Jesus is profound, but simple. Profound because it changes your life utterly, simple, because all you have to do is say yes. Yes, I will follow you, Christ. Imperfect as I am, I am yours. It's a huge commitment and yet life is simpler once it's made because it takes the pressure off. Accept that you love and are loved by Jesus and everything else falls into place

We had our second Men's Breakfast on Saturday which was a great success (in all ways except numbers! - but it's early days yet). It was the second time I'd led a bible study and I really enjoyed it. I suppose it was a combination of many factors which brought the whole thing together which made it work and I think these can be counted as blessings: The support of an experienced house group leader who had the original idea but has been kind enough to let me lead this group. The time spent in prayer while reflecting on material to use and prepare. The time spent writing prayers for the morning which seemed to hit the spot, we also had a time of open prayer which also worked well and fed back into areas we discussed. The bacon rolls and coffee worked well too!  This time we looked at a passage from Hebrews 10:32-11:1. It was about the meaning of faith and maintaining perseverance in the face of persecution. We embarked on tangents involving persecuted Christians in the

You did not choose me but I chose you and I appointed you to go out and bear fruit, the fruit that shall last. Alleluia. 1 Blessed be the Lord the God of Israel, • who has come to his people and set them free. 2 He has raised up for us a mighty Saviour, • born of the house of his servant David. 3 Through his holy prophets God promised of old • to save us from our enemies, from the hands of all that hate us, 4 To show mercy to our ancestors, • and to remember his holy covenant. 5 This was the oath God swore to our father Abraham: • to set us free from the hands of our enemies, 6 Free to worship him without fear, • holy and righteous in his sight all the days of our life. 7 And you, child, shall be called the prophet of the Most High, • for you will go before the Lord to prepare his way, 8 To give his people knowledge of salvation • by the forgiveness of all their sins. 9 In the tender compassion of our God • the dawn from on high shall break upon us, 10 To

I took the dog for a walk on my own yesterday. This was the first time I've walked the dog for three months and even though it was painful and I limped using a stick. I really enjoyed it. There were bluebells everywhere, it was dry and I could see for miles. Having hardly been outside recently, it was wonderful! However, it brought home how much work I have to do. While improving, it's going to be a while before I can walk properly again. In some ways, I needs to learn how to walk properly. I've spent so long limping I start doing that automatically then have to check myself to try and use as normal a gait as possible. It's not easy and ten minutes later I'm limping anyway, but at least it's progress. I think I need to approach vocation in the same way. The last week or so hasn't been a setback, more a chance step back and reflect. I had become so focussed on stipendiary ministry and needing to start as soon as possible in order to give as much time to t

"Truly I tell you, no prophet is accepted in the prophet’s home town." This struck a chord today, from the second reading in Morning Prayer (Luke 4:24). I’ve had several difficult conversations recently and many of them have been about acceptance, particularly about vocation. If you’ve looked at my blog, you may have gathered that I’m exploring vocation and possible ordination in the Church of England. This feels like it has been rather slow but I’m sure for all for all the right reasons. After all, these things must be done in God’s time, not ours. I met the DDO for the second time last week. He has received my ordination registration form, but I think the fact I had decided to keep options open regarding full-time ministry or NSM meant he felt I needed to do more work. I left with a list of things to do and people to see and no date set for another meeting. This wasn’t what I had expected but certainly wasn’t a no, more a, do some more work and research then let me

These posts struck a chord so here I am, sharing! Firstly a beautiful poem on being a priest here . Also,  humourous take on the vocation and test of curacy in the form of a multiple choice here .