Christians are called to be humble, it’s part of what bring us closer to being Christ like or ‘in Christ’. In our modern world though this can be very difficult. We are encouraged by society to be bold, seize the day and be confident. The focus on ‘self,’ being proud and materialistic are what society expects of us. We can aspire towards humility and many Christians do through prayer, bible study, Christian fellowship and worship. I had started to read into recent events some signs that I needed more humility (I’m sure that much is true). I had agreed to lead a lent group and even though I denied it to myself, felt some pride at being asked (also some guilt for feeling pride). Then the group was cancelled due to a lack of takers, which was humbling. Another group I tried to join as a member was also cancelled due to low numbers, so I didn’t join a Lent group this year for the first time in several years which was disappointing (to me at least). I have also recently injured my knee wh...
The last few months have seen some of the biggest roller coaster lurches in all of my vocational journey, and I haven't said anything here, because I haven't really known what to to say, even though I wanted to share, especially as people have prayed for me in the past, which has always meant a huge amount to me. So what has happened? Back in October, I met two Diocesan Assessors, one lay and one ordained. It then took about a month to receive feedback (for entirely understandable reasons), which effectively said that while I had a clear vocation to ordained ministry, it was felt that I lacked the necessary leadership skills and especially confidence, which I would need to do well at a panel. Now, it's honesty time, my confidence had taken quite a battering over the previous six months, the drawn out vocation process and continued levels of required introspection had started to take their toll, combined with a work situation which had meant my confidence in my role and ...
Part of the reason I don't blog very often is that it can sometimes seem rather introspective (such is the nature of exploring vocation), some details can be personal and private, then if I'm being careful not to mention too many names and places, there can then be little left to say. However, things do move on. This vocation journey is more like a container ship than a speed boat, or perhaps a long distance backpacker than a 5k runner. It's a steady, onwards exploration. I'm seeing, experiencing and learning a lot on the way and no matter what happens, my faith, will be much deeper than I would have imagined a few years ago. This journey also needs much prayer and so the odd update may be helpful to people who have said they'll pray for me. So here we go... It's taken some time to realise God's timing isn't the same as mine. As I have explored vocation to ministry, tested some avenues, tried a few cul-de-sacs then found a path which seems more lev...
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