Distant Mountain

Church life for me, in worship terms, currently revolves around the choir. To be part of the choir especially at Christmas is wonderful and there were some great moments in church yesterday. Like another blogger, one of my favourite carols is Gabriel's Message which we sang on Sunday morning. The harmony is relatively simple but sounds lovely. Of course the focus is on Mary, the most highly favoured lady. The significance of Mary’s calling was brought home in the sermon when we were asked to examine how we have been called by God. We may not be called to bear a child, the son of God - I may find that tricky, being a chap - we may not be called to watch the son of God die on the cross and see his resurrection. But we can be called in often powerful ways which sometimes take much work to discern. (As a side point, it would be much simpler if an Angel would appear and just tell us what we must do, oh and if the Angel could just put it writing with the Bishop on cc., that would be mu...

It's been a very hectic few weeks but in the middle of it all were a couple of meetings which felt more important that the other stuff. A week or so ago, I met my spritual director again after a few months and it was like nothing had changed. He is very calm, inquisitive without being challenging, insightful without me even saying what I'm thinking. It was rather affirming and reassured me that I'm not deluding myself! He seems to see in me, what I have perceived, which is a comfort. Then a week later we had our local ministry team meeting. Also there was our new LMT Officer from the diocese, who is also the diocese vocations officer and I had met them a couple of months ago with another meeting planned for the following evening (although at the moment the rest of the LMT, except the Vicar, aren't aware that I'm looking into christian vocation - unless they have worked it out for themselves!). I'm involved in quite a few inititives in LMT like prayer ministry,...

There seem to be fewer forks in the path at the moment, I'm sure there may be some choices to be made over the next year or so, but the last year has been one of remaining true to a calling. It seems that if there has ever been a doubt, then a sign or signal has of hope has renewed my patience. Last night, having recently changed roles within the vast global company where I work (it should be a good move but still early days and lots of new people to get used to), I was in a place where the voices in my head were saying, you're in the wrong place, you should be in a place where you're helping people and proclaiming the Gospel, not in a place where you sit playing with spreadsheets and engineering drawings all day. I was mulling this over at home after work, when the Vicar called, asking me to run evening prayer that night (a once a week service in our church), which she couldn't make due to other meetings. That was the reminder I needed, You have been called (li...

I think I was quite naive when I was younger. I believed I was a pacifist and that a non-violent approach could resolve any situation. I was able to resolve personal situations without violence by standing my ground or through negotiation but now, with hindsight I think I have just been lucky. I no longer see the world quite like this, my view of the world has matured a little, as I have grown up. I have met people who have been to war, have read about and seen film about war. My grandfather fought in the second world war and was part of the D-Day landings, he wouldn't have agreed the younger me, although we never talked about these things and anything he shared about the war was the light-hearted comaraderie and the scrapes he enjoyed. He lost family in the war but never spoke about them or what he had seen in the heat of battle. The biggest revelation was when I realised that evil exists. We can't get away from that. Some people are misled, or have been nurtured to ...

So often, I feel like I should be posting something, but have nothing to say which adds something new. I'm sure this isn't true, and when I look book to when I last posted, a fair amount seems to have happened, with some developments in the near future as well. Looking back, the associate priest with who I first talked about my calling left our benefice at an emotional joint benefice lunch. As usual, we did ourselves proud, brought and shared food, memories and kind words. This wonderful lady had been part of the parish for over 20 years and will be sorely missed. As part of the choir and prayer ministry team, I was privileged to be a part of most emotional part of day as we sang and prayed for her. Her ministry will continue in a new benefice and we continue to pray for her as that starts later in October. Then from the beginning of September, I've also been trusted to lead morning prayer every Saturday morning. It's a spoken service with only a few people each wee...

Got back from two weeks in Cornwall on Saturday. It was a complete break, we went to church once and I read the bible a few times but it was quite relaxed. We also had no interweb access and it was actually quite refreshing, so today I am starting to catch up with my blog roll but it's slow going and I didn't go to Greenbelt either so feel slightly out of the loop on that one. We did make it to Truro cathedral, which is a stunning building with some wonderful art and a wonderful sense of calm about it. Particularly amazing as it's only 125 years old yet feels as ancient as many older cathedrals. I also went out running along the coastal path from Mullion Cove (where we stayed, which was lovely thank you...). Half way through our stay I headed for St Winwalloe, the Church of the Storms at Gunwalloe. It was just a destination, reckoned to be about an hours running there and back. It was early so the beaches were almost deserted, but the waves were crashing onto beach. So ...

I had been writing some reflections in advance of a vocation's meeting with my supportive Vicar. This one kind of got hold of me and I wanted to share... God is love, and those who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 1 John 4:11 Over recent months, this has so clear. As my faith has grown over the last few years, a sense that we all God's creatures to be loved and nurtured has become increasingly clear. Whenever I reflect on the relationships I have with all those I come into contact with, even those I don’t know or those who may cause harm to me personally or in the wider world (everyone, everywhere - it's unconditional). A feeling just washes over me to the effect that, they are loved, by me, with all my heart. It is different to the love I feel for my close family, but just as strong, and if I let it, can become overpowering. The whole experience is amazing, this had never happened before. I’ve always had a knack for empathising with other peoples po...

The last week has been Full. Packed. Chocka. Work has been busier than ever, quite stressful with a manager who never seems happy however hard you work, but I don't want to dwell on that. A number of things have happened which I have been struggling to get my head round, mainly due to lack of time to reflect. On Pentecost, the reading from Acts spoke of flames touching the Apostles as they were filled with the Holy Spirit. What an amazing way to be called to build a church! Then a few minutes later, during the sermon, I saw flames moving in front of me, which certainly made me blink! I quickly realised that the air above the candles on the altar was shimmering from the heat, and directly behind the heat haze was a stained glass window depicting Jesus and the fisherman disciples on shores of Galilee, with a small fire on the beach in the lower left corner - and the flames were moving as the preacher spoke about us being moved by the holy spirit at Pentecost. With all my ruminations ...

Thank you to everyone who wished me well or sponsored me as I ran the London Marathon on Palm Sunday. The weekend began on Friday with registration at a big exhibition centre in the docklands area. The race number and timing chip were safely issued and I was in. My home for the weekend was St Pauls Youth Hostel, and I pleased to be able to make it to Evensong in the Cathedral, which was an amazing experience. The Saturday was an easy day. A visit it to the Sunflower Seeds exhibition by Aiwei Wei at the Tate Modern in the morning, which was an awe inspiring installation. Then it was off to the London Marathon Service of Thanksgiving at All Hallows by the Tower in the afternoon. A simple service and because of the date, some elements of Palm Sunday were included (including Palm Crosses) for those of us who would be running the next day instead of being in church. It was also an honour to be able to read some of the prayers at the service as a Christian Aid runner. There w...

The last month or so has been one of those where it feels like, more than usual, I'm taking on too much! Since the London Marathon (for which I will post a race report soon, promise!), we have had our kitchen and dining room cleared, gutted, knocked through, re-fitted and decorated. So we have been living, in the living room along with the fridge, microwave, a large labradoodle and a boy who likes watching a lot of telly. This combined with a very busy job which recently seems to use all my thinking energy has left me more drained than usual. Especially when it comes to posting blogs and keeping in touch. In the last month I also attend a LMT service at the cathedral and led evening prayer in my own church for the first time, which felt, well, right. The energy levels aren't quite back yet, but I made it to morning prayer on Saturday, our family worship on sunday morning along then Evensong at another church in our benefice. This helped recharge the spritual batteries a ...

The good news so far, is that the training is more or less going to plan and has been injury free apart from a few niggles. It’s been a hectic month with the real world pushing away at the time available for training. At the time of writing in mid-March, I’m now up to long runs of about sixteen miles with the longest training run planned for the third weekend of March. This should be about nineteen or twenty miles which should then allow a three week ‘taper,’ where I’m still out running but for shorter distances. That’s not to say the training has been easy, it does impact on family time when you disappear for three or four hours and come back exhausted and hardly able to walk! It means that the day after a long run, stairs are usually best avoided as they use parts of your legs which, quite frankly, had ‘quite enough to do the day before thank you very much and we don’t want to play anymore.’ The time I spend alone running, is however, great thinking time where I can clear my he...

On Saturday I ran the Rhayader Round the Lakes 20 mile road race in a time of four hours and two minutes. This is quite slow because I'm not a quick runner, but it gave me plenty of time to take in the beautiful Elan Valley in glorious spring sunshine. Being a road race, we had to follow a set route, so there were arrows and marshalls pointing the way at every junction. There were markers at every mile and the path was clearly laid out for us. Long runs are a great way to clear your head and give plenty of thinking time. I took up running to get fit and lose weight, which has worked, to a degree. But I was a hillwalker before I was a runner, so every time I saw a footpath leaving the side of the road, that was where I wanted to go, to explore and see what was above the next rise. Somewhere along the way, the reasons for running have become clouded, so that now running instead has become the main activity. So I have resolved to restore the perspective. Once the London Marathon...

Written for St Georges March Parish Magazine. As reported last month, on April 17th (Palm Sunday) I’ll be taking part in the Virgin London Marathon. This is one of biggest and best known running events in the world and should be a fantastic day. Those who have run the race before have told me that just the crowds cheering you on can be a hugely uplifting and exciting experience. The crowd support will hopefully keep me going when things get tougher in the later stages. In many ways I’m really looking forward to the day itself. I’ve got my train tickets and youth hostel place booked, the Christian Aid ‘Team Poverty’ will be waiting for me and I’m hoping that, with your support, I can raise some substantial funds which can really make a difference to those for whom living below the breadline is just another day. The fundraising will also help with the training. When it’s howling a gale or pouring with rain, knowing that the hard work can make a difference to people with emergency ai...

Another blogger posted this poem today here , The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth. Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same. And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference It has personal meaning for many people I'm sure. There are also many literary interpretations. Sometimes though, it's the choices we face at crossroads whic...

May be it's just that stage of one's life where being busy is a standard state of affairs? Having a full-time job, being married to a spouse who works twelve hour shifts (both day and night), with no pattern to them. A son in early secondary school, a puppy the size of a small horse, plans to re-fit the kitchen, move the shed (after the felt's been replaced following wind damage) and cook meals four or more nights a week. Between all this a faith which is growing steadily to point where I'm trying discern whether my calling is more than all the choir, church groups and commitee's I currently work for. Trying to find time to pray, be still and reflect is really difficult. But those times are so crucial. It's said, by some, that the devil sends busy-ness into our lives to distract us from God and his will for us. I'm not entirely convinced if this is the case if we are still working for God and in a manner which reflects (or at least try to) his word, but ...

I've been reading around the subject of vocation and calling. I'm not sure but it's possible that much of what I need to know may be here . I could be wrong, but Dave Walker does seem quite good at getting to the crux of an issue.

On April 17th I’ll be taking part in the London Marathon which, at the time of writing, is only three months away. This means my training should be well underway, although in reality, it’s only just starting. As a way of getting some motivation, this will be the first of a series of training diaries in the magazine before the big day. As previously reported, I ran my first marathon in May last year, the Windermere Marathon, so in many ways I know what to expect. However, I’m expecting London to be flatter, but much busier, which will bring different challenges. A combination of snow, ice and hectic schedules have delayed proper training. Since the snow melted, regular short runs in the week haven’t been too difficult to fit in, as with a full hour for lunch, I can usually manage a run of about thirty minutes. Unfortunately, these are not really enough. I now need to build up my long weekend runs to improve endurance; this can be difficult, firstly in finding time, then in keeping...

As someone new to blogging, this is a short attempt to explain why I'm here, especially for those who I have started following in what may see a random fashion. I seem to have a lot of stuff in my head these days, and this may be a way of getting some of it organised. Thoughts about calling, vocation, prayer, faith and reflection crowd in and to make sense of it all is difficult. Blogging may help, reading other blogs may also help, we'll see... I'm also going to be a little vague, as so far, very few people know I am thinking on these lines (except my wife and my Vicar  ) - whatever the line may be, see that was vague then. Hopefully things will become clearer over time and I can expand more later. Some thoughts may seem, and will also be, random. I may be wrong, but I think God is calling and it's going to be an interesting year...

This is the Covenant Prayer spoken in the Methodist church on the first sunday of the year, which coincides with Epiphany. It sums up how I feel at the moment and sort of paraphrases the route some of my personal prayers have taken; I am no longer my own but yours. Put me to what you will; rank me with whom you will. Put me to doing; put me to suffering. Let me be employed for you, or laid aside for you; exalted for you, or brought low for you. Let me be full; let me be empty. Let me have all things; let me have nothing. I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things to your pleasure and disposal. And now, glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, you are mine and I am yours. So be it. And the Covenant which I have made on Earth, let it be ratified in Heaven. I feel I am called to God's work, the challenge is to discern how... Watch this space, By the way, Happy Ephiphany!

Back to work now and it's been a good break, but it seems harder each year to handle the change in routine when away from work but not away from home. The round of visits and visitors acheived as well as can be hoped for in most cases. The biggest struggle I had was trying to pin down the meaning of Christmas, it means so much to so many people but I had real difficulties this year in coming to terms with any of them. It could be about; 1) Family - yes but it was very challenging this year, especially with weather and a few other issues (but Mum and Dad - not you, honestly!) ... 2) Giving and receiving - perhaps, but it can get so materialistic with tick lists of presents for children 3) Partying - to many this is all it's about, christamas meals, or even worse getting drunk on Christmas Eve and New Years Eve, nooooo...! 4) Eating too much, we all do this but I'm struggling to see any arguments for justifying it, 5) Watching all the Christmas Specials on telly - all ...